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Promise In The Dark

Can't count on you most of all when I really need it It's the simple things that you do really hurt my feelings The more I try, the more I'm starting to see it This can't work anymore, than you believe it Goodbye may come as a shock Even though I love you a lot I've given every breath I've got Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe Add how many times I gave my heart To how many times we fell apart And it equals A promise in the dark So don't promise me Add how many times I gave you me Divided by so many memories And it equals A promise in the dark So don't promise me Listen... I just don't know what the problem is, what the deal is Was I there too much, did I move too fast, I couldn't see it? All these promises are probably how you deal with it I'm tired of hearing you say your innocent Don't think I forgot Because I really didn't, who cares if you're lying or not I've given every breath I've got Sometimes you gotta br...

You

"Andai dia bukan milikku di dunia, Tuhan temukan aku dengan insan yang seperti dia Kenangan kita terlalu indah Tuhan tabahkan hatiku untuk melepaskannya Bila nanti aku harus pergi Usah engkau tangisi, usah engkau merindu Aku berjanji engkau akan temui Insan yang jauh lebih baik dariku Kini aku pergi, jauh membawa cinta Yang nyata sudah tiada"

Feelings

I swear I was doing okay without you. Yes, at times, you do cross my mind. But that's about it. I don't try to talk to you & I don't even stalk you anymore. I'd be lying if I were to say that I don't miss you because I do. So bad that it hurts. The past few months has been fine. There were times I died a little inside at the mention of your name or just the thought of you. Other than that, I was just fine on my own. And you, doing what you do best, just keep appearing asking me how I was doing & things like that. If I could, I would tell you that I was miserable for months. I pushed everyone aside for you. Every guy was compared to you. & no matter how badly you've hurt me, I would still choose you over anyone else. Don't you get it? I will take you back no matter what. So in order for me not to do that, you have got to stop being nice to me. You have no idea how excited I get whenever you text me randomly. Or how I smile at your texts. Are you c...

Ashton

Ashton died yesterday. He was in so much pain. I couldn't do anything to help. I just.....cried. Buried him with my two bare hands. Love you, Darling. I'm so sorry. 

Excuses

You both are the ones making it all difficult. I don't understand why you're behaving like a child. Stop running away from problems or people. If you think that things can be settled that way, then you're dead wrong. I've had enough of all these bullshits. If the next time I were to do what you guys just did, do not blame me for giving you guys bullshits. I got it all from you. Things can never be simple around here. They wanna be heard but they are not willing to listen to anyone. Is that even fair? One thing I'm sure of, I'm done listening to anyone. If what I'm doing is wrong then I wanna be wrong. It's called disrespect once I stopped listening to them but for now, I don't really care. They had the cheek to blame it all on me & then tell me that I'm wrong when both of them have no clue at all that they're just the same. Fact is, I don't wanna be like them. I'm better at forgiving & I'm definitely better at understand...

Heartbreaks

It is, I admit, very difficult to deal with heartbreaks. It's either you love them too much or not at all. There's no in between. But if you can start realizing that some of them isn't love, maybe you can save yourself from all those heartbreaks. It's normal to develop feelings for someone who makes you feel important & yes 100 others can be the reasons for the butterflies in your stomach but you should really move slow. I don't really fancy falling in & out of relationship. It makes me feel like anyone can have me & no, not just anyone can. Also, it's not that easy for me to have feelings for just anyone. Most of the time they're just infatuations with some people. & it is pretty normal for me to develop an infatuation with adorable looking guys. I bet a lot of us are like that too. I can talk to tons of guys but I choose not to. Either I get easily bored of someone or I'm just not interested to talk. Most of the time, I just don't...

Pissed

I don't understand why we have to do what we're doing. You were the one who said we should forgive & forget. Now you tell me if we're doing that.. I understood what you meant when you said you couldn't accept what she did but I've moved on & it doesn't bother me at all because I know I do not do things like that. I won't do anything to disappoint you, Mom. You should atleast be proud of that instead of holding grudges against someone who's family to all of us. I have so many things I wanna tell you about them but you're too busy hating on them that you don't realize they're wanting to meet you & talk to you. If you can't forgive them atleast pretend like you already did. Please... It's frustrating when people put you in such a difficult position. You have to tolerate all the nonsense in between & pretend like everything's okay at the end of the day. I wasn't really planning to cut all ties with them. I mean, ...