Feelings

I swear I was doing okay without you. Yes, at times, you do cross my mind. But that's about it. I don't try to talk to you & I don't even stalk you anymore. I'd be lying if I were to say that I don't miss you because I do. So bad that it hurts. The past few months has been fine. There were times I died a little inside at the mention of your name or just the thought of you. Other than that, I was just fine on my own. And you, doing what you do best, just keep appearing asking me how I was doing & things like that. If I could, I would tell you that I was miserable for months. I pushed everyone aside for you. Every guy was compared to you. & no matter how badly you've hurt me, I would still choose you over anyone else. Don't you get it? I will take you back no matter what. So in order for me not to do that, you have got to stop being nice to me. You have no idea how excited I get whenever you text me randomly. Or how I smile at your texts. Are you coming back for good or do you think that we could pull it off as just friends? Because if you think we could be just friends then you're dead wrong. I wanna forget about everything & everyone that's hurting me. Including you. Indeed, it is hard for me to do that. But I have to try. Though I think we could still work it out this time, I still have doubts that you want this just as bad as I do. I don't even think you want this at all. You're only loving the chase. I kept my cool when you started texting me again. & you even called me "Sayang" which is, at that point of time, the only thing I hope to get off my mind. I'm confused. You're like a maze. & I'm no good with all these. I don't wanna figure you out either. I just want to be fine on my own. You shouldn't have came back. You're forgiven but I don't want you back. At-least not for now. Please.