angels dont give up on me today

You don't just tell someone you're gonna be fine. You can never be fine. You can't just start over. It can never happen. You can never forget those guys you gave everything to & they ended up ditching you for someone else who looks so much better than you. You can never forget those friends that you trusted with all your heart & they ended up doing shits behind you. You can never forget your best-friend that you thought would be there through it all but ended up changing because you couldn't be half as fun as the new best-friend she met. You can't forget whatever you've been through no matter how hard you try. You can't just wake up the next morning not thinking about everything that's bringing you down. Let's face it, ten years down the road, you're still gonna be reminded of the fact that people leave you because you were you. They hated the real you. They told you to be yourself & when you did, they left. So now tell me how being m...

I fucked things up, I know. Just please, forgive me. I took every single thing for granted. Had no idea you'd leave me. I can't make it on my own. You came around when i had no one. You were there when i was at the top, you were there when I fell to the bottom. I don't wanna lose someone who accepts me for who I am. You did so much for me I don't think "thank you" would be enough. You understood what I was going through, you made me tell you things I told nobody. You sacrificed your time just to make sure I didn't do things alone. You did things without leaving me out of it. I'm sorry I didn't believe you that night. I'm sorry I tell you off. I'm sorry I put my ego above all the good times we've had. I miss you so much. I miss just texting you whenever I want to. I miss you trying every way you can to make me smile. I should have seen your efforts instead of telling you you're wrong. I don't want to be afraid to apologize. ...

why did you have to come back?  why do you always do that? why do you have to apologize for every single shit you did? you knew everything was going to be fine each time you apologize, didn't you?  you knew i won't hesitate to take you back.  why do you have to re-appear when i'm already getting better? you miss me?  really?  or you miss having someone to talk to?  someone who can put up with your bullshits?  you don't miss me, you miss having someone who cares. you went away without a word & now you're coming back,  apologizing for going missing saying that you needed the distance between us,  saying that you knew what you did was wrong. so now i'm supposed to believe that you've changed? ain't gonna fall for that. i've had enough of all the sleepless nights,  the tears i've wasted. i'm done.  find someone else that can make you feel like you're precious.  because i used to make you fee...

i'm sorry for pushing you away. it's the only way i deal with myself. i've been hurt way too many times before that now i leave before anyone leaves me. once someone is capable of making me smile every morning & every night, i will make sure i back the fuck off. it's just me. you're not the problem. just hope you know, i'm getting use to being alone now. i don't think i need a guy or a close friend to feel complete. i don't think such things exist anymore. if you've been left alone, blamed at when you've been trying so hard to be perfect for that somebody, you'll understand why i'm doing this.

Its been so long. Everything has been really hard. I'm not saying it was easy all along but at least mummy won't scream at my face like she did a while ago. I don't understand anything around here anymore. It's like i'm living in a house that is full of people i do not know. Everyone haven't been themselves lately. Is it my fault now? I admit i haven't been home for quite sometime but now that i have, why do i feel like i don't belong? Or is it just me? Nothing i do seems to be right. I'm being screamed at, blamed at for no fucking reason. You want me to get a job, i already have one. You wanted me to stop schooling, i've quit. You've been planning out my life the whole freaking time, what else do you want from me now? Do you even care about what i want? Do you know that i go to sleep crying because i can't do anything right around here? I know what i'm doing right now isn't what i promised you the other time. But i'm trying ...