The Real Me

You don't just tell someone you're gonna be fine. You can never be fine. You can't just start over. It can never happen. You can never forget those guys you gave everything to & they ended up ditching you for someone else who looks so much better than you. You can never forget those friends that you trusted with all your heart & they ended up doing shits behind you. You can never forget your best-friend that you thought would be there through it all but ended up changing because you couldn't be half as fun as the new best-friend she met. You can't forget whatever you've been through no matter how hard you try. You can't just wake up the next morning not thinking about everything that's bringing you down. Let's face it, ten years down the road, you're still gonna be reminded of the fact that people leave you because you were you. They hated the real you. They told you to be yourself & when you did, they left. So now tell me how being myself is gonna fix anything? Oh sure, I should try not letting anything people say get to me. Yea, I can do that. No wait, I've tried. Ha, so why am I still screaming on the inside? Why do I have to be what they want me to be but they can't be what I want them to be? Why do they get the permission to hurt me but they get mad when someone else tries to hurt them? Why is it okay for them to speak their mind but when I do, they told me to shut the hell up? Why are they allowed to walk out of my life whenever I make a mistake but when it comes to them, I have to suck it up & try to understand? Why do I have to apologize even when I'm right? Why can't anyone treat me the same way I've treated them? I'm tired of being nice. I'm tired of always being the one who stays no matter what. I'm tired of being tired. I wanna be appreciated. I wanna be a friend that someone needs as much as I need them. I want people to like the real me. I don't want to be one of them, I hate trying so hard to fit in. I want people to know I have things I love to do too. I appreciate every single one of my friends that helped me in every way possible. I'm really not a bad person. I don't really like using vulgarities. I love hanging out in the library. I love donuts & chocolates. So please, don't make me do things I don't wanna do. It is easy for you to tell me to say no but can you not get mad & not walk away just because I dislike doing what you guys enjoy doing? It is easy for everyone to do things but it's not for me, okay?

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