Who's the real problem?

I needed someone to be there. I reached out to my loved ones because I was scared. I needed someone to be there. To tell me everything's okay. But nobody was there. They simply don't care. I'd do anything for them but when I need them, they just aren't there.. Sad, isn't it? I almost wanted to treat them the way they treated me but my heart just couldn't do it. I wasn't born like that. People kept telling me that whatever I do should be done from the bottom of my heart and that I shouldn't be expecting anything back. But I just wanted to matter. I just...... want to matter. Why is this so hard? Why didn't anyone tell me it was going to be this hard? Why wasn't I taught to be cold towards people who treats me awfully? They can break my heart many times but I'd still hand my heart over to them again & again. I thought people closest to me would give me unconditional love. They are supposed to be my safe space... But they act just like everyone else. It's so upsetting..

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