angels dont give up on me today

why did you have to come back?  why do you always do that? why do you have to apologize for every single shit you did? you knew everything was going to be fine each time you apologize, didn't you?  you knew i won't hesitate to take you back.  why do you have to re-appear when i'm already getting better? you miss me?  really?  or you miss having someone to talk to?  someone who can put up with your bullshits?  you don't miss me, you miss having someone who cares. you went away without a word & now you're coming back,  apologizing for going missing saying that you needed the distance between us,  saying that you knew what you did was wrong. so now i'm supposed to believe that you've changed? ain't gonna fall for that. i've had enough of all the sleepless nights,  the tears i've wasted. i'm done.  find someone else that can make you feel like you're precious.  because i used to make you fee...

i'm sorry for pushing you away. it's the only way i deal with myself. i've been hurt way too many times before that now i leave before anyone leaves me. once someone is capable of making me smile every morning & every night, i will make sure i back the fuck off. it's just me. you're not the problem. just hope you know, i'm getting use to being alone now. i don't think i need a guy or a close friend to feel complete. i don't think such things exist anymore. if you've been left alone, blamed at when you've been trying so hard to be perfect for that somebody, you'll understand why i'm doing this.

Its been so long. Everything has been really hard. I'm not saying it was easy all along but at least mummy won't scream at my face like she did a while ago. I don't understand anything around here anymore. It's like i'm living in a house that is full of people i do not know. Everyone haven't been themselves lately. Is it my fault now? I admit i haven't been home for quite sometime but now that i have, why do i feel like i don't belong? Or is it just me? Nothing i do seems to be right. I'm being screamed at, blamed at for no fucking reason. You want me to get a job, i already have one. You wanted me to stop schooling, i've quit. You've been planning out my life the whole freaking time, what else do you want from me now? Do you even care about what i want? Do you know that i go to sleep crying because i can't do anything right around here? I know what i'm doing right now isn't what i promised you the other time. But i'm trying ...