Fucked up

i fucked everything up yesterday. i wanted to tell you i miss you but my ego got the best of me. i was tired, i was mad, i was self-centered. you're treating me like an option. one minute you want me there & another minute you don't. well, at-least that's how i see it. it's what i think, see or say that matters. even if it's wrong, only my words matter. i'm sorry. 

i don't wanna lose you but if being without you makes everything better, i'll settle for that. it's exhausting to always wait for your texts. even when we're talking, you don't seem like you're interested in anything i'm about to tell you. 

forgive me for my cold replies. i only wanted you to feel what i was feeling when you gave the same damn replies. but it doesn't seem to bother you. not at all. what the hell do you want from me? you're loving the chase, don't you? 

if it was easy, i would have let you go by now but it's not so i hope you realized i'm staying. how come you're dead important to me but i'm just another girl to you? you knew i was upset yet you still keep the doing the things you did. why? 

you want me to accept you as who you are then fine, i won't change you. but you're so gonna lose me if you keep this up. i had no idea i'd go this far with you. i've never got this far with anyone else but seems like i'm giving out chances to the wrong person. 

it's been months & we're still the same. proud to say that i was really good at acting like i didn't care but i still go to sleep crying. it's no fun, babe. don't fail me again. show me that it's worth it when i came running back to you.