angels dont give up on me today

he didn't have to do much. he literally made my entire night when he said he missed me. it doesn't matter if he's saying it just to make me talk to him bcs as far as i'm concern, that's exactly what i wanted to hear. it definitely made me feel like i was wanted by someone, especially when that someone is him. he had no clue that i was trying really hard to give him cold replies for the past few nights. it didn't make me feel better, it made me felt worthless instead. i shouldn't have replied to any of his texts. i've told myself that the reason i was continuously hurting was bcs i kept letting him in time & again. then i thought that if i take everything slow & steady, my feelings would eventually fade. but the more i give him the cold replies, the more he comes back. like he didn't get any of my signals. pushing him away got really difficult bcs i started to get more attach than ever. i want to push him away but i don't want him to leav...

11th September 2013, Home Club. Dearest Team Secret :-) x

now that you're gone, everything's different. i knew what i had, i just didn't thought i'd lose you this fast. you were just like a Dad to me. you blow my phone up when it's only 7pm & you never stop reminding me why I shouldn't be home late. you will always make sure i had dinner before heading to bed. you'd stay up till 5am bcs that's the time i'll get home after every event. you were on my nerves almost all the time. i wasn't your child but you controlled my life & your presence usually suffocate me. you can hurt me with words that you called advises. i'd lock myself up in my room whenever i get home just so i won't look at you. who would have thought i'd miss all those stuffs now that you're no longer here. i came to realize my safety comes first even though you had your own children & my siblings. i guess i was pretty difficult for you to handle that you had to wait till i get home every night/morning just to m...