Old pal
assalamualaikum. the guy up that, his name's Prem. i couldnt have made a lot of friends by the first month of ITE last year if it wasnt for him. he kept calling me A-bi & everyone else followed suit. turned out he knew that name by looking thru my facebook. he's small for his age tho. opps, sorry Prem. haha! anyways, that picture was taken on thursday, when i met them after my class. never apart.
so, 2nd week of school was.......awesome. & alhamdulillah for the weather these few days. loving the rain as well as school. motivated to go to school as i've made new friends & there wasn't alot of modules i hafta repeat. it's easy & convenient. who would have thought that i could fit in with these first year boys so easily. Mr Koh is a brag at times but he's the perfect C.A. i mean every class needs a C.A like him. funny, clumsy & caring. mana nak dapat? hahaha. & he can be a bore at times too when he keeps talking & talking especially when he speaks bout things that's not related to our modules. i think i'm becoming more & more like him. i should stop this. haha.
it has always been about school. let's skip to other topics. shall start off with............me. well, i have a lot of things i keep to myself. things that even my bestbestfriend don't even know about. not that i don't trust her but i don't think it's something anyone has to know other than me. ever heard of "smiling on the outside but hurting on the inside"? i can relate to that. honestly, i don't feel as happy as i used to be. & theres a few reasons to it which again, i don't think anyone else has to know. or maybe, i don't even know myself. what do you do when people approach you & tell you things you wanna hear but then again, you will never believe them? my nights are full of thoughts & questions. the walls are telling me that everything's a lie. maybe that's the only reason why i have trust issues towards everyone i meet. i have close friends, close enough to even call them my siblings. but how do i give them the 100% of trust when i don't even trust myself? whatever i do or think usually ends up as failures. don't get me wrong. i'm not demoralized by other people or anything. i just don't feel like i have achieve anything in life so far. especially the things that can make my parents proud of me. i keep asking myself, "what do i stand for?" & the answers i get are usually negatives. by hearing the troubles of others, i would automatically come to a realization of my life & start appreciating it. i thought my life was awful but there's a hell lot of people out there who has it worse. thank you Allah for making me realize that i've been complaining too much instead of thanking YOU. i told myself to be there for those who are in need of someone. i can't promise to be there for everyone tho but i will try my very best.
i've been thru a lot of shits & mostly i'm the one who created it. it's time to treat people the way i wanna be treated. & i'll keep my friends close. x